Paths and lost Ancestry

Feedback from John Gallivan

There was only ever one thing I was good at school at. Yes, you guessed it, art. I had an eye for it and enjoyed it and felt pride in it when nothing else offered me pride. However my family, my father in particular, who was also a great natural drawer wouldn’t let me take the option at school when that time came around, claiming there were no jobs in it somewhat bitterly.

The middle of my life has been a selection of half hearted jobs, that haven’t even been that good at paying the bills, hey but at least I had a job right!!!

I’m in my late forties now and have done that whole soil searching thing and have realised, even though to do so causes me pain, resentment and regret, that the only thing I was ever good at I have never had a chance to explore, so this is it, this is why I paint.

I find it hard though. Not because of reasons you might think. I feel that everybody is better than me, and I become intimidated by the profound complexity of the images and the interconnected relationships between patterns shape and colour. The result is I have been quite good at simplistic reproductions for people but my own work looks shallow, and unimpressive.

A good course on art I hope would fulfil that need to technically approach art better right at the start, and a free course (hehe) would forgive me a lifetimes poor choice in careers.

* As to art I love, mostly classical and Renaissance but emotionally I can fall into Van Gogh but even though I have copied a couple if his I am aware that neither my emotional or technical atempts even come remotely close to the passion that stirs and writhes in his images.

Thanks for reading.
JohnG